I’ve watched those news clips every years of crazed people camped outside stores in the freezing cold for hours upon end, just to be the first one in for the early bird Black Friday sales. I thought, craziness to such a degree, only happened in New York or California but nope – it’s right here in down-homey, corn-shucking, clodhopping, Decatur, Illinois. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I walked into Wal-Mart a little after 6am. What possessed me to shop so early in the morning? I don’t know. I guess I just had to experience it once in my life and once in my life was enough.
The checkout lines wrapped throughout the entire store. Customers with heaping loads of merchandise were waiting surprisingly patiently. But they all had that look on their face like, “Okay, I know this makes me look crazy, and I would really love a paper sack to place over my head right now so no one could recognize me, but I’m here and I’m saving money. What are you going to do about it?” Well, I did something. I left the store. There was no way I was going to wait in line for three hours to save $20. I’d rather spend $100 more just to exit the building safely.
And with those types of crowds, who knows what kind of mutant strain of killer influenza was being created between the sharing of air between so many infectious nostrils and lungs. The pale horse of death from the apocalypse could have been clippity-clopping around that store.
The kids and I decided to mosey on up to McDonalds in Forsyth and have some breakfast. Then we went to Lowe’s and the Mall. The Mall was busy but I’ve seen it far worse. I didn’t manage to purchase anything on my shopping list except for some garland to wrap around my front porch at Lowe’s and a shirt for myself at Christopher & Banks – or as my daughter calls it – the old lady store. She’s seen all of the outfits there modeled on her elementary school teachers and principal. That would turn me off too, if I were eleven years old.
I guess I’ll just have to resort to shopping for Christmas gifts the old fashion way, the way I always do it – online from the comfort of my home. Aahh!
