— A Typical Sarah Palin Interview—

Governor Palin I have a few questions for you:

Can you describe the Bush Doctrine to me… and what number am I thinking of right now?

I believe that there are terrorists in the world, hell bent on killing Americans, here and abroad, and I agree with President Bush that we should take the fight to the terrorists instead of fighting them on our own soil…Uhm…I’m guessing the number 8???

Wrong!  No, the Bush doctrine, as enunciated on September 15, 2002, at 8:09 pm to his dog Barney is what I was referring to; the number I was thinking of was 2,012.

—

You claim to have foreign policy experience, yet you only obtained a passport last year; how can you claim any foreign policy experience at all when you haven’t traveled the world?

Well, I’m not independently wealthy. I’ve had to work for a living and I’ve been a mayor and a governor – I’ve been kind of busy!

—

Can you tell me how many states — of matter there are?

Uhm, there’s liquids, solids and gasses?

Ah, ha!  You’re not aware of the other states of matter such as:  plasma, quark-gluon plasma, Bose-Einstein condensate and fermionic condensate?

I’ll have to Google that one and get back to you.

—

Do you really think you’ll have time to be vice-president, since you have SO many children?

Isn’t that kind of a sexist comment?  Would you ask the same question of a man?

So you’re not willing to answer my fair, unbiased, highly professional question?  You’re really not qualified to do anything are you?

I’m qualified to field dress a moose and I could do the same to you!

You really are a monster just like George Bush!

—End of Interview—